You have heard that it was said, “You shall not murder.” But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or a sister, you will be liable to judgment. –Matthew 5: 21-22–
A soft answer turns away wrath. But grievous words stir up anger. –Proverbs 15:1–
During one of our Wednesday night meals, a few years ago, I was talking with Priscilla Weaver. I mentioned that songs of all kinds used to be something that we had in common in our society. For example, just about everybody knew and could hum the song “Yesterday” by the Beatles, or “Strangers in the Night” by Frank Sinatra. We had certain popular songs in common. In a way we were united by our popular music. I said to Priscilla, “Sadly, it is no longer true that popular music unites large groups of people. Priscilla’s response was good food for thought.
She said, “The only thing that unites us, today, is outrage.” “Outrage” is what unites us. The things that have us hopping mad unite us. The rage we feel brings us together. We are united in our fundamental “anger” at the world.
Turn on talk radio and you will hear “outrage”. Turn on most of the cable news channels and you will hear “outrage”. Click into your Facebook account and you will see “outrage”. We have become a very angry society.
The wisdom parts of the Old Testament and Jesus have things to say about “anger”. Anger can hurt us. Anger can do untold damage to us and to our children. When I went to vote in the past Presidential election, anger was in the air. I think it is safe to say that the average voter had a feeling of sheer outrage as he or she went to the voting booth.
When I was a child, my mother frequently quoted from Proverbs, chapter 15: “A soft answer turns away wrath.” My mom must have quoted that verse to me a thousand times in my childhood. There is some great wisdom in that little verse. Perhaps our nation needs to learn how to give a “soft answer” in the midst of turmoil and trouble. We can imagine how that little verse plays out in reality if we think of the work of people like Martin Luther King Junior and Gandhi in the nation of India. “A soft answer turns away wrath.” And sometimes it can move entire nations toward a more just society.
Of course, we Christians think of Jesus. Jesus had a lot to say about how a more gentle treatment of our opponents can create peace and serve the Kingdom of God. Jesus said, when someone strikes you on one cheek, turn the other cheek toward that person. Do not retaliate! Do not fight fire with fire! (Matthew 5:39)
In the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew chapter 5) Jesus equates “anger” with “murder”. And I don’t believe he only meant to say that murder comes from anger that has built up. No. I think Jesus is telling us that intense anger directed against others, physically or verbally, is a form of murder all by itself. Anger is a type of murder.
Jesus always invites us to dive deep below the surface of our lives and of ourselves. In equating anger with murder Jesus is telling us to look deep within our own hearts. Murder, like love begins in the heart. Our words of anger can destroy people around us.
A Christian writer–named Dallas Willard–wrote that anger is a form of self-righteousness. That is an intriguing thought. Anger is a form of self-righteousness. We are usually feeling superior to others when we are expressing anger at them. If you don’t believe that, consider how people seem to feel when they are shouting angrily at other drivers on the road. Think about the anger expressed in the press, on Facebook, and on Twitter. It usually looks like the angry folks are saying: “I’m smarter than you! I’m more correct than you! I have more insight than you!” In short, “I’m better than you who disagree with me!” Anger is a form of self-righteousness. Dallas Willard puts it this way: “Anger always has about it an element of self-righteousness and vanity. It relates to the wounded ego.” Willard says we “cultivate anger and embrace” it because we feel the need to protect our own ego.
We not only cultivate anger like a garden; we store it up like a car battery. We keep the battery of anger charged up and ready to run our engines.
What’s the answer? How can our tendency toward anger be assuaged? How can we keep from falling victim to the infection of anger? There are no easy answers. I have two beginning suggestions.
First, admit it. Admit your anger and name it. It’s an honest move. You can name it and then think about where it’s coming from and how you are using it. “Is it tied up with my ego somehow? Am I being silly in this spurt of anger? How and in what ways is my anger a form of self righteousness? How is it an expression of the idea that “I am better than they are.” or “I am smarter than they.”? How does my anger express the idea that “I know better than they know.”?
Second, after you have admitted it and named it, pray about it. Slow down; take a deep breath and pray. Pray for wisdom. Pray for humility. Pray for guidance in addressing those with whom you disagree. Part of prayer is contemplation. Sit for a moment and look to Jesus. Imagine Jesus sitting with you and walking with you. How would Jesus be responding to the people who make you angry? It’s probably good to remember that Jesus would love them just as he loves you. That doesn’t mean you never disagree. It doesn’t mean you withhold truth as you see truth. But, it does mean you ponder and think before you speak.
When you are angry, please think about these things. Think and pray.
In the peace of Christ,
Pastor Larry
February 2017